The Winter Olympics...Zim Style
by Jon3
Summary: After learning about the Olympics from Gir, Zim decides to sign up.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1 - The Winter Olympics  
  
It was a normal day for Zim and Gir was watching TV while Zim was checking the house for germs recently after he had ordered the wrong meat.  
  
"HEY, MASTER! THE WINTER OLYMPICS ARE ON!"  
  
"What is this 'Olympics'?"  
  
"It's this thing where people come and compete in..." Gir paused for a moment, apparently thinking hard. "STUFF!" he squealed as if his thinking had actually paid off.  
  
"If you win these 'events' what is your prize?"  
  
"You get money!" Gir squeaked as he bounced off the wall nearest the TV.  
  
"Yes...we could use some filthy human stink filth money ourselves for...stuff! C'mon, Gir, we're going to sign up for the olympics....Wait, Gir, where are the olympics taking place?"  
  
"Salt Lake City!"  
  
"Very well. We shall take a human stink plane to 'Salt Lake City'."  
  
They walked out the door and Zim commanded Gir to fly him to the airport. Gir, with serious red eyes that didn't appear often, nodded in approval. But as soon as they had taken off, they fell to the ground.  
  
"Why did we just crash into the ground?!" Zim asked irritated.  
  
"Make room for the pizza!" Gir squealed jubilantly as he devoured the pizza. Zim smacked his forehead in Gir's stupidness.  
  
"Gir, now we have to take a human filth stink bus thing!" Zim said exasperated. Zim sighed as he walked onto the bus and sat down in an empty seat. It was a miracle because Zim actually survived the ride to the airport. He was about on the brink on insanity when the bus halted to a stop before the airport. They walked out and stepped into the airport. They bought tickets for a flight to Salt Lake City.  
  
The flight went very smoothly, although Gir did happen to cause some(okay A LOT) of attention by doing backflips up and down the plane in excitement.  
  
As they stepped off the plane Zim said thoughtfully, "Now, I need an alias to cover up my real name..."  
  
"How about Ziim?" Gir said stupidly.  
  
"No, Gir, the alias cannot be my real name."  
  
"Exactly!" Zim smacked his hand on his forehead once again.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2 - Training Begins  
  
Zim eventually got an alias which was: Dib Isstupid. They rented a room in a the Mariot Hotel near the Olympic Training Center.  
  
"What sports are you gonna enter, Master?" Gir said as they entered the room.  
  
"Hmm...good question, Gir. How about snowboarding, figure skating, ski jumping, and cross country skiing."  
  
"Are you sure?" Gir questioned.  
  
"Yes, of course I'm sure!" Zim barked angrily. "Now why don't you go play in traffic?!"  
  
"Okay," Gir said as he stepped outside.  
  
"In the human filth dictionary the example for stupid should be: See Gir," Zim said darkly. "Now," Zim told himself. "You shall begin training tomorrow."  
  
Zim woke up at 6:00 in the morning to find his alarm clock blaring iritably. Zim smashed it to bits with his fist sending parts of the clock flying everywhere.  
  
"Human filth clocks," Zim grumbled as he got up. At once he headed for the Olympic Training Center to begin training. Overnight he had figured out that he would split his training into four parts. 1/4 snowboarding, 1/4 figure skating, 1/4 ski jumping, and 1/4 cross country skiing, all in the order you just read.  
  
Zim entered the Olympic Training Center and got his snowboard gear on. He walked over to the halfpipe and got into his snowboard. He went down the halfpipe and attempted a simpled nose grab but failed miserably. He turned the simple nose grab into a face plant into man-made snow.  
  
The only way I'm going to win, Zim thought. Is to cheat.  
  
|Chapter 3 â€" Cheating | |Preparations |  
  
Back in Zim's hotel room he was making cheating preparations that would make him win easily. He attached a rocket boosters to his skis, his snowboard, and his figure skates for obvious reasons. (If your an ignoramus and you don't know why, I'll tell you just in case you are). Zim added rocket boosters to his stuff to get more air and as for the cross country skis, he did it to get more speed.  
  
"Now, to test the preparations out," Zim said.  
  
He went into the Olympic Training Center(a.k.a. the OLC)  
  
and strapped himself into his snowboard once again. Just as he was about to go off one of the towering walls of the halfpipe, Zim pressed "ACTIVATE" on the snowboard. The snowboard roared up into the air with tremendous speed. Zim did a 2520(7 full spins) combined with 3 back flips and 3 frontflips while doing a tail grab, all inverted. He landed with a beautiful stomp and Zim smirked.  
  
"Perfect," he said intently, while grinning. "The preparations are complete! Mwahahahahahaha!!!" This caused several other athletes to stare at Zim. "What are you looking at, stink humans?!" In reply they just continued what they were doing, for they didn't want to get in the way of a deranged psycopath  
  
Chapter 4 - Starting of the Olympics  
  
"Master, master! The olympics are starting tomorrow!"  
  
"Yes, I'm quite aware of that Gir," Zim said as if it were the most obvious thing in the entire universe.  
  
In the morning Zim got up and smashed his bedside table for he was quite used to slamming the alarm clock when he got up. Instead, there was no alarm clock. Zim fell out of bed onto the ground, sprawled in pain.  
  
"Master, you okay?"  
  
"Yes Gir, I'm okay," Zim replied sarcastically. "Yeah, I'm absolutely perfect. No, my fist does not hurt excruciatingly. I'm a-okay."  
  
"I knew you were okay! I could tell by the way you were sprawled on the ground with your face contorted in pain!"  
  
"There should be a law for being too stupid at once," Zim muttered as he lifted himself off the ground. "Gir would be in jail for llife."  
  
Zim walked down the steps leading downstairs and opened the door.  
  
"TAXI!" Zim bellowed. At his very words, a taxicab stopped, resulting in its breaks screeching annoyingly. Zim and Gir got into the taxi and a soon as they entered it, the driver started yapping away.  
  
"Where to?" he asked.  
  
"The winter olympics," Zim replied.  
  
"You goin' ta watch?"  
  
"No, I'm competing in them."  
  
"You are?" the driver asked, mildly surprised.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Seriously?"  
  
Zim gritted his teeth. "YES, YES I am." Before the driver could say his next words, Zim screamed out, "YES!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Are you competing for the money?"  
  
"No, no I'm not," Zim answered sarcastically.  
  
"Then what  
  
|are |  
  
you competing for?"  
  
"Do you know what sarcasm is?" Zim asked annoyed. But before the driver could respond, he noticed he stopped and were at their destination.  
  
Zim walked out the car and the driver exclaimed, "Hey, what about my money?!" But Zim didn't pay attention. On purpose. He casually strode towards the olympics with the driver shouting furiously at him.  
  
"He didn't pay the bill," said the driver, horrorstruck, well after Zim had reached to where the olympics took place. "He will pay." His eyes narrowed, his teeth clenched, his fists formed balls, and veins of rage started to appear on his forehead. "I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS, GREEN PERSON THING!!!!!!!" the driver roared, obviously enraged.  
  
Zim headed over to the opening ceremony place, with the ceremony currently in action, and reluctantly joined the marching olympians. The torch was then lit and the national athem was played.  
  
Zim flinched in agony as the American olympians placed their hands on their hearts. He had never heard such sounds.  
  
"Human filth music," he said weakly, slowly regaining strength.  
  
Finally, for what seemed like thousands of millenniums, the opening ceremony was finished. Since the men's snowboarding halfpipe was taking place that day, Zim hurriedly rushed over to where that was.  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen," boomed a voice. "The men's snowboarding halfpipe will take place NOW!" The crowd roared in excitement.  
  
"First up is...Tommy Czeschin(pronounced SHA-SHEEN) from America!" A guy, possibly in his late twenties, walked up and strapped himself to his snowboard. His coach signaled for him to go, and that's what he did. He smoothly strided down the slope and went off one end of the pipe. He got huge amplitude and did a perfect frontside rodeo 900( a frontflip with two and a half spins) and had a great landing. He was making it look like a piece of cake.  
  
"Next up is Draco Ricardo from Germany!" There was an earshattering roaring of "BOO!!!" from the Americans. "Right, right, right."  
  
Draco got buckled into his snowboard and went down the pipe. He went of one end and did a tail grab and failed horrendously. He landed painfully on his rear. "Moomay?" he said, dazed. The crowd roared with laughter and even the judges had to stifle some hearty sniggers. However, he continued down the slope. He got some air and did a nose grab. He then went off the opposite end attempting to do a backflip but failed yet again. This time he landed face-first into the snow. "'Ow warm," he muttered sarcastically. He finished, with a dirty look on his face, as if he might quit snowboarding and take up skiing. His score was a 5.3. He swore loudly.  
  
"Next up is Dib Isstupid, the first ever olympian to compete in 4 sports that aren't related to each other!"  
  
"My name is pronounced: Dib Iz Stupid, not Dib Iss tupid," Zim replied as he got buckled into his snowboard. He went down the halfpipe and went off one end. He pressed "ACTIVATE" and the snowboard took off up into the air. Just as he had done in practice, Zim did a 2520 combined with 3 frontflips and three backflips, all while doing a nose grab, all inverted. The crowd was awestruck. Zim landed perfectly. He went off another side and did an alley-oop combined with a backside rodeo 1080 while doing a nose grab. He had two more jumps to go. He did 4 backflips followed by a splendid inverted 9000. Just as he was about to do his last jump, Zim pressed "HYPER SUPER ULTIMA ULTRA SUPER ACTIVATE" and did all of the jumps he just did combined. Zim walked over to the side, panting, and waited for his marks. He had gotten a perfect 50. The day went on perfectly for Zim except for the night when someone made a stunning announcement.  
  
"Dude, didya see that Dib guy?" a teenager said excitedly to his friends.  
  
"Yeah, he was the bomb!"  
  
"You talkin' about me?" Zim asked smugly.  
  
"No, we're talking about Dib Membrane, ya know, the only guy who got a fifty besides you." Zim's eyes narrowed.  
  
"DIB?! HERE?! HOW?! A simple explanation...he has come to rid me of my glory! He shall pay for this!" Zim stormed off the the sleeping quarters. Tomorrow would be an eventful day indeed... 


	2. Chapter 5 - The Day of Revenge

Chapter 5 - The Day of Revenge  
  
The cab driver was sitting in an office with the lights dimmed. He had a disgruntled look on his face and he was rubbing his fists together, plotting(he had done so for hours). Suddenly, his fists started flaming and the driver's eyes bulged out of their sockets.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed as he ran down the hallway to the right of his office. He stormed into the bathroom and slid into a stall. At once, he plunged his hands into the icy toilet water.  
  
"Aaaaah" but the "aah" quickly turned into an "EEEeew" as he realized what was in the toilet. His face screwed up in mingled fury at his obvious stupidity. He looked livid. He walked out of the bathroom with a pained look on his face. One of his fellow cab drivers questioned, "What happened, Calvino?"  
  
"Well my hands started on fire and I" - but an insane grin had spread on his face. He walked back to his office and a maniacal laugh could be heard from it.  
  
It was now the second day for snowboarding, since the first one had been the qualification round; it was now determined who would be in the final snowboarding competition. They included: Zim, Dib, Tommy Czeshin, Lucas Fidelickitymartinarianisn, Yale Dirky, and Martin LaLa.  
  
I wonder why Zim hasn't gotten revenge on me yet, Dib thought, as he walked over to the snowboarding area. He should have known by now that I was competing.  
  
As the finalists approached the snowboarding area all of the contestants came into view. Zim and Dib's eyes met for a split second, but the next moment looked away.  
  
"Now," boomed the announcer's voice. "The final snowboarding competition will begin!" At this note, all of the finalists got into their snowboards. "First up, is Dib Membrane, the fist competitor to be under 14 years of age!" The crowd "WHOOO"d.  
  
Dib started down the pipe with the most determined look he had ever shown. He went off one end of the pipe and quickly pressed a miniature red button on his snowboard. His snowboard wooshed into the air. He then pressed another button. He did a 1080 combined with 3 McTwists, 7 alley-oops, 4 back flips, a tail and nose grab at the same time, all inverted. He landed smoothly and went off another end. He did yet another amazing jump. He did two more jumps, with even more amazing amazingness. He then finished. The judges, with lightning speed held up their scores; obviously emphasizing that he was incredible. He had gotten a perfect 50 once again.  
  
The other competitors then competed; Zim was to be last.  
  
The standings so far:  
  
1. Dib  
  
2. Tommy Czeshin  
  
3. Yale Dirky  
  
4. Martin LaLa  
  
5. Lucas Fidelickitymartinarianisn.  
  
"Now, our last competitor, Dib Isstupid will now compete!" Dib did not even show any signs of fury from the "Dib Isstupid alias"; he was obviously hiding it.  
  
Zim entered the pipe and did some moves that he had made up on his own. The next jump was not made up, just a lot of combinations of really good tricks. The third jump was a combination of the ones he created, and the ones that already existed. The fourth one was hard to tell, for it was so good. Zim finished, and waited for his marks. He had gotten a 50, which meaned he was tied with Dib for first place. A look of indefinite triumph spread across his face.  
  
"Now there will be a tiebraker match between Dib Membrane and Dib Isstupid," the announcer told the crowd.  
  
They did the tiebraker match and each of them did their most stunning performance. The judges were now whispering rapidly about who would win. They seemed to have reached an agreement, for the judges all nodded their heads.  
  
"Ahem," said the judge in the middle. "We are proud to announce that the winner..."  
  
A trickle of sweat dropped from Zim and Dib's forhead in nervousness.  
  
"...is Dib Membrane."  
  
A look of anger appeared on Zim's face. His eyes narrowed and his teeth clenched. He glowered menacingly at Dib.  
  
The word REVENGE echoed through his head for the rest of the day.  
  
I'll do more on CH.5 later. 


End file.
